For a real kiwi experience forget bungee jumping or sheep shearing, just spend a day with my grandmother and you'll learn all you need to know about the land of the long white cloud. Here are a few of her sayings that really tickle my fancy.

Not on your nelly: No way, not on my watch, you've got to be joking!

Take to your scrapers: I'm pretty sure your scrapers are your feet, the parts of your body that scrape the ground so this one means to run away in a hurry.

A big nosh-up: In NZ, 'nosh' means food so when your dinner plate is piled up higher than a small skyscraper, that'd be considered a big nosh-up.

Plodding along: If you were the turtle in the Turtle and the Hare story you'd be a plodder. One step after the other, nothing fancy, you'll get there in the end.

Shoot over the hill: This doesn't involve firing a gun, it's a phrase my nana uses when she's going somewhere in the car that's not a big distance and won't take much time.

Tootle off down the road: Unlike shooting, tootling denotes travelling a lesser distance, at a slower speed.

Put your tuppence worth in: This term was coined (mind the pun) back when people spent tuppence to get their shoes cleaned. It's like sharing your opinion whether it's wanted, warranted or not. 

Up the booeye with a pick and a long handled shovel: If someone is being nosy, sniffing around and you don't want to say where a person is.

Tiddly bits: Tiddly, according to my nana means little, inconsequential things like buttons, loose ends and bits and bobs.

Bits and bobs: See above.

Holy moly: An exclamation or cause for surprise, usually accompanied by the raising of eyebrows and voice volume level.

Dipstick: If you're a bit slow or considered a fool you could cop this term. If you're more severely afflicted you would be called dipsh*t.

Piddle: When you're caught short and can't cross your legs any longer you could find yourself piddling on the carpet.

Bobby dazzler: Exceptional thing, person or state of being that really tickles your fancy.